troik tue: Procedural Barge Adventures

08 Jun, 2026

NOTE: Words appended like this $^{T}$ have an entry in the Troika core rules.

Here is the random encounter procedure from my Troika! golden barge rules:

An encounter roll is made directly after a Movement Roll if the Barge has not made its way into a safe port.

Roll for an encounter by Testing the Ship's Luck. On a failure, compare the result to a 2D6-based encounter table.

In order to have a satisfactory random encounter table, I have developed the following.

The Table

2-     DRAGON
3-5   Beast
6-8   Barge
9-11 Portal
12    One of the Twelve Wonders

Dragons, Barges, Monsters, and Portals each have several sub-tables in varying levels of granularity, depending on preference and need.

1.0 Random Dragons

1D6	BREATH	WEAKNESS	VICE
1	FIRE. Beautiful, terrible, but also cleansing: Your soul, clean as white ash, wins entry to the highest stratum of Heaven.	STAR-SILVER	GOLD
2	WIND OF CHANGE. All players swap character sheets, but not possessions.	ITS OWN TEETH	BLOOD
3	FREEZING. Damage rolled represents months spent in chrono-stasis, instead of Stamina loss. While in stasis, you are impervious to any component of normal-spacetime. Stasis can only be cancelled by liberal application of the stomach juices from a Freezing-type dragon.	RHYME	PRAISE
4	SHRAPNEL. Pregnant dragons frequently suffer from Pica. When they attempt to breathe fire, they instead eject a torrent of undigested, mangled remnants of space-architecture and Barge hulls. Each breath produces 3D6*10 sp worth of salvage.	SUNFIRE	SPELLS
5	LIGHTNING. The most conductive target in range receives double damage. Can be misdirected with the use of a lightning rod attached to a piece of string.	LEAF OF EUPHORBIA	HEAT
6	CHROMATIC. As Random Spell.	RAINBOW-LIGHT	BOOKS

2.0 Star-Beasts

1D6	Beast	#Appearing	Chance In Lair, #In Lair
1	Notule $^{T}$	1D6	$\frac{3}{6}$ , 4D6
2	Salamander $^{T}$	1-2	$\frac{3}{6}$ , 1D6
3	Sea Monk	2D6	$\frac{2}{6}$ , 50
4	Emperor Lobster	1	$\frac{1}{6}$ , 1
5	Agate Crow	1D6 * 100	$\frac{3}{6}$ , 666
6	Lord of Eyes	1-2	$\frac{1}{6}$ , 1

Sea Monk

Skill	Stamina	Initiative	Armour	Dmg
4	12	1	2 (scales)	as Modest Beast

Mien	1	2	3	4	5	6
	Playing Polo	Begging for Alms	Pursued (roll another encounter)	Transporting Priceless Relics	Preachy	Singing Canticles

Mannatee-sized Pisceans with cranial appendages and flaps resembling the habited head of a monk. They were uplifted from the doom of their watery world by a fraternity of priests. Their rescuers would be all but lost to history were it not for the reverberating canticles of the Sea Monks, heralding their ponderous arrival from the farthest reaches of the Hump-Backed Sky.

Emperor Lobster

Skill	Stamina	Initiative	Armour	Dmg
8	30	2	3 (scales)	as Gargantuan Beast

Mien	1	2	3	4	5	6
	Wounded	Furious	Giggling (outwardly appears the same as Furious)	Carrying Eggs	Accompanied by Snivelling Interpreter	Attached to a Dead Barge by Harpoons

Exiled nobility of a far-off, Cyclopean aquatic realm. Utterly alien intellect; communicates solely by hypnotising soon-to-be feudal subjects with its kaleidoscopically spinning eyeball stalks. There are a few, but not many, Golden Barges forged from the repurposed shells of titanic Emperor Lobsters.

special: Once per combat, may attempt to charm all within sight of its hypnotic eyes: Test Luck or be compelled to spend your next Round prostrating, fleeing, or offering a tithe(whatever you have on you).

Agate Crow

Skill	Stamina	Initiative	Armour	Dmg
5	5	1	1 (agate skin)	as Small Beast

Mien	1	2	3	4	5	6
	Hungry for Flesh	Hungry for Metals	Pursued (roll another encounter)	Mischevious	Wrathful	Bored

These crystalline corvids trawl the black Skies in their hundreds, picking clean the corpses of Barges and Beasts alike. They subsist on a combination of metals and organics, affording them two key adaptations for travel between the stars: A tough, impermeable skin of pure agate, and a pernicious sapience paired with the ability to speak.

Lord of Eyes

Skill	Stamina	Initiative	Armour	Dmg
7	20	3	0	as Large Beast

Mien	1	2	3	4	5	6
	Carrying a Message for a God	Harbinging Apocalypse	Wounded	Carrying Eggs	Trumpeting	Superior

Majestic semi-gods of the Hump-Backed Sky. They resemble a sinuous stream of white light until they open their wings, revealing a kilometer-span of radiant peacock feathers, flowing in no-gravity like angelic gossamer. They are solitary, only meeting once in their lifetime to mate. Legend has it that a feather from a Lord of Eyes heals all ails, grants treasure to the poor, and bestows wisdom upon the unwise.

special: When the Lord of Eyes unfurls its feathers, all witnesses must Test their Luck or be stunned for a round. All who succeed spot a loosed feather floating in space and may attempt to retrieve it.

3.0 Random Barges

Suggestion: use An Infinity of Ships. I like the card pack.

3.1 Vital Statistics

size: roll 2D6.
2-3  Small. Stam +6
4-6  Modest. Stam +12
7-9  Large. Stam +16
11+ Gigantic. Stam +24

stamina: roll 2D6 and add bonus according to Size.

luck: roll 1D6+6.

3.2 slots

Roll 1D66, or pick, a number of times as per barge size.

Small: 4
Modest: 8
Large: 12
Gigantic: 16

D36	Slot
11	Bio-engineered SPIDER SILK LAUNCHERS. Range: 6 tactical squares. On hit, forms a supple sticky connective strand with 14 Stamina. Clogs up in protest if denied a Ration that morning. The practice revolts Spider-Bankers, who rebuke accordingly.
12	GRAPPLE CANNON. Range: 6 tactical squares. Barge Damage as CROSSBOW $^{T}$ , creates two steel cable tethers each with 6 Stamina. Spend a turn in initiative to dislodge the grapple.
13	PLASMIC HOWITZER. Scavenged from Autarchy hulks, each bears inscribed its maker's epitaph. Range: 12 tactical squares. Barge Damage as PISTOLET $^{T}$ . Uses 6 Plasmic Cores per shot.
14	STEEL CARRONADE. Goblin-made they glint, studded over the hulls of their caravels. Range: 6 tactical squares. Barge Damage as FUSIL $^{T}$ . Uses 6 Plasmic Cores per shot
15	CIRCUS MORTAR. Launches personages. Crewed by 6 mute clowns, if anyone else mans it the passenger invariably dies. Range: 18 tactical squares. Passenger Tests Luck vs. Barge Damage as PISTOLET $^{T}$ (also dealt to the target). Uses 1 barrel of black powder per launch
16	ST. JUDE'S CANDLES. Silver-cased rockets, packed in salt, propelled by the explosive exorcism of imprisoned demons. Barge Damage as FUSIL $^{T}$ . Range: 24 tactical squares. If the ammo store is struck in battle, the encased demons are released and run havoc.
21	PLANDRAN SKY-BAFFLES. Vitreous planes baked blue over star-loam. The Barge comes to a halt in tactical space as if it were 1 size smaller.
22	MASS EXCISOR. Thrumming orb lavished with the runes of the Red Saint. +5 squares to any Movement Roll. If the orb witnesses crimes against the Red Redemption, it mutinies, causing a -5 square penalty.
23	GOLDEN SAILS. Immense, shimmering, twelve-pointed leaves harvested from the last dying tree in the Gardens of Corda. Fuel is only expended for every 2nd square traversed.
24	THINKING ENGINE. Long-rememberer of the Autarchy's sundered star-ways. All travel distances are cut in half. Test Ship's Luck at the midpoint of every journey; on a failure, the Engine suffers a mutinous disc fragmentation, leading you into dangerous and unmapped territory.
25	SUN SCOOP. Hull mounted oil-sheened steel funnel. When brought dangerously close to a Black Sun of the Hump-Backed Sky, the funnel draws in volatile Plasmic particles that can be used to recharge a spent Plasmic Core $^{T}$ . The device requires two hours skimming the upper atmosphere of a Sun, and can recharge up to 4 Cores simultaneously.
26	SLALOM BRAKE. A Plandran sky-baffle with heavy 3rd-party modifications, including several oddly shaped holes and lots of green graffiti. The Barge comes to halt as if it were 1 size larger.
31	SERVO. Immense stack of rotating glyphed drums. Centuries-old, garlanded with half a tonne of fraying prayer flags. Test Ship's Luck to spin the drums; on a success the silo sends forth seven hundred motorised, tortoise-sized silicon pucks. Every surface they whizz over is left immaculately clean, and in the case of any simple machines -- hinges, levers, light switches, and the like -- in perfect working order. The Barge immediately gains 1D6 Stamina.
32	FUNGUS HOLE. Spray-creted cavern facsimile with a finely tuned hydraulic irrigation system. Produces 1D6 unpleasant portions of Provisions $^{T}$ a day. Also turns bodies into compost in 1D6 hours.
33	AMBER CELLS. Eight octagonal prisms of liquid resin, girdled with complex iridium pipes and gold cables. With a person interred, the resin can be hardened into pure amber, preserving the contents perfectly for 666 Troikan years. $1 / 6$ chance per AMBER CELL that it already contains a Monster from the encounter table.
34	STAR BEES. Hull-mounted array of iridescent, crystalline beehives. These bees are transparent like fine glass, and feed exclusively on the waning light of the Black Suns. They produce 1 serving of colourless honey a week. When imbibed, your mind is projected into the hive's collective consciousness for 1D6 hours. You can sense everything they sense, including the tidal pulls of astral bodies millions of leagues away. When the trance ends, gain 2D6 Luck. If the bees are loosed onto an enemy Barge, they cause mass panic but relatively few injuries.
35	PINHOLE ARRAY. Six car-sized graphene boxes mounted on the barge's outer skin, each adorned with a single pin-diameter hole. The resulting pinhole-camera images are gobbled up greedily by the tame black holes living inside each box. To whom the images are sent is not strictly known, but their appreciation is shown in the form of seventy pounds of static-charged, greasy silver, deposited monthly in a seventh, coffin-sized black box positioned beside the captain's bed.
36	LAZARUS PIT. Cyclopean tumbledryer full of sloshing green slime. Insert a fresh corpse and Test Luck. On a success, you emerged in reincarnated form, according to the result of the luck test:

Luck Test (2D6)	Reincarnated Form
2	Mouse
3	Harpy -- gain spells as per Bestiary $^{T}$
4	Parchment Witch -- gain abilities as per Bestiary $^{T}$
5	Goblin $^{T}$ -- gain friendship of other goblins
6	Your original form but with an upside down face and two left hands -1D6 Stamina, -1 Skill, and -1D3 Max. Luck
7	Your original form.
8	Your original form, but looksmaxxed. +1D6 Stamina, +1 Skill, and +1D3 Max. Luck, OR 1 Skill Rank in 3 Random Spells
9	Two of you. You, but two! Your two selves have an empathic -- but not telepathic -- connection. In other words, information is not shared wirelessly, but emotions are.
10	Troll -- regen Stamina as per Bestiary $^{T}$
11	Swarm of 1 Million Locusts -- Disapparate into individual locusts and reapparate into a singular form at will.
12	DRAGON

3.3 crew

Refer to the first table for crew size, and roll 1D6 on each column of the second table for crew composition, allegiances, and Miens of the crew and captain.

Barge Size	Crew Amount
Small	1D6+4
Modest	2D6+8
Large	3D6+12
Gargantuan	4D6+18

1D6	Composition	Allegiance	Mien	Captain Mien
1	Witches $^{T}$	Autarchy	Mutinous	Gluttinous
2	Goblins $^{T}$	Pirate Federation	Affable	Generous
3	Rhino-Men $^{T}$	Merchant Navy	Paranoid	Insane Sorcerer (as Tower Wizard)
4	Thinking Engines $^{T}$	Explorer's Society	Violent	Put-Upon
5	Octopi (barge is flooded with saltwater)	Musicians	Dire straits	Absent
6	Crew massacred; 4D6 Alzabos $^{T}$	Trade Union	Somnambulant	Paragon of Virtue

4.0 Portals

When entering a Portal, test Ship's Luck and refer to the table below:

Test of Luck	Success	Failure
2-	TEMPORAL DOOR. The other side is in the same place, but 1D66 years in the past.	MAELSTROM. Must expend 2D6 units of fuel to escape its pull. Once trapped in its maw, escape is only possible with outside help.
3-4	SPATIAL HITCH. Skip forwards 1 square.	WURMTEETH. This portal is actually the mouth of the Loathsome Wurm that will Consume the Sun $^{T}$ !
5-6	SPATIAL STITCH. Skip forwards 3 squares; the portal collapses behind you.	TEMPORAL DOOR. The other side is in the same place, but 1D66 years in the future.
7-8	WORMHOLE CHAIN. A stabilised network of wormholes allows you to skip 1D6 squares in an instant.	AMBUSH. A pirate vessel (roll a random barge) waits on the other side.
9-10	SENTIENT WORMHOLE. Curious, lonely, desparate for mental stimulus. Can tunnel your Barge to any location in the Cosmos. As payment, usually asks for 1 crew member to stay behind as an eternal companion.	SPATIAL KNOT. This portal has the appearance of a SPATIAL CINCH, but actually adds 2 squares to your travel distance.
11+	STARGATE. A rare functioning and unguarded gate into the paradisical Gardens of the Ven $^{T}$ .	TURBULENT VORTEX. Allows you to launch 1D6 squares in any direction, but at the cost of Large ship damage.

5.0 The 12 Wonders

Replace any entry with your favourite modules.

If the PCs encounter one of the 12 Wonders and they decide to enter, end the session and prepare.

5.1 Stygian Library

An interdimensional library containing all the secrets of the Multiverse.

5.2 Gardens of Ynn

A beautiful and dangerous infinite garden in the spaces between realities.

5.3 Garden of Corda

A decaying ecosystem in the heart of a Giant.

5.4 Troika

The Greatest City in the Multiverse; the pulsatile heart of the dead and dying fragmented Autarchy. Home to such sights as the Blancmange and Thistle; Sutler's; Whalgravaak's Warehouse; The Hand of God; The Festival of the Snail; the Manse of Mirrors; and infinitely more.

5.5 Lobster Worlds

A chain of crystal spheres flooded with saline nectar, strung on cables of pure diamond. Within, numerous Emperor Lobsters crawl to and fro, attending to courtly duties and seeing to the defense and prosperity of their realm.

5.6 Starlit Sea

The precursor to the Hump-Backed Sky. A million Crystal Spheres bob like buoys on a black and still ocean, perpetually under a sky of unfamiliar stars. Inhabited by floating colonies of fish-men, distant cousins of the Pisceans. They fled our reality many blighted millenia ago.

5.7 The Deep

An immense and abandoned research facility, ruled by an insane thinking engine.

5.8 Gates of Heaven

Lonesome Death, with tears of gold and skin of alabaster, guards the gates to a neverending horizon. She will weigh your heart for no fee, and only bids you stay if its indeed your time.

None who have passed beyond ever returned by this path.

5.9 Principality of Craters

Domain of the cursed and banished; home to demons, exiles, and ghosts.

5.10 Cage Match at the Centre of the Universe

The greatest spectacle in all the Crystal Spheres.

5.11 The Demon Sea

At the sky's edge, its silky substrate turns to tepid silt and flowing, stinging waters. Here are the turbulent seas where Demons roam, home to the infernal engine known as the Hexagonol Orrery.

5.12 Genial Jack

An immense space-whale, with a gut so spacious, life has found a way to flourish within.

#troika-tuesday