Referee Skills Review 1: The X Card
the Referee Skills Review is about playtesting soft skills in the same way that rules and modules get playtested. My aim is not to tutorialise, nor to introduce groundbreaking ideas, but to catalogue and review soft skills based on actual experience from play. Relevant links to educational content will be linked where I can find them.
how I used it
Context: I GM exclusively in-person, and at least half of sessions I run are for strangers.
I begin with the same spiel, nearly word for word.
"This is the X card."
place index card with an X on it on the table
"I don't know most of you, and I don't know what makes people uncomfortable, so this is a way to keep us safe. Let me demonstrate."
get a volunteer
"Okay, let's say you're afraid of spiders. And I don't know ahead of time".
in character now
"A giant spider appears!"
look expectantly at volunteer, they hit the x card
"Okay everyone, let's take a 5 minute break."
to volunteer:
"...are you afraid of spiders?"
they nod
"okay bet, no worries. Everyone, ready to get back to it? Okay, a giant wolf appears!"
end demonstration
Is it good?
Eh.
It's commonly used and easy to explain. It sets a good precedent: it says, "I as the GM promise to respect you the player and keep you safe".
Here's the thing: It's never been used at my table. Not once.
Maybe I'm so consistently respectful and aware of peoples' boundaries that nobody feels the need to X-card. I'd love for that to be true but it's far more likely that I have, in fact, accidentally crossed a line or a veil and it's not come to light.
My instinct as a player would be that the X card feels obtrusive. By reaching over into the middle of the table's view, I am interrupting the flow of play, and likely leading to a brief stoppage. Depending on how shy a player is they might prefer to suffer in silence.
Will I be using it again?
It's a 4 out of 5 for me. There's no active harm in it, and it's better than nothing, but I'm looking for a better tool.
Some potential ideas:
- scheduled break with private check-ins with each player
- keep private DMs open
- build more inter-table trust at the start of the game -- get people to verbal contract, out loud, "I will be totally fine with anyone else stopping play briefly for an X card discussion", or something to that effect
resources
- good time game tools is a cute little printout for X cards. It's also got a few more innovations on top, I think this would be a good one to print out and test in play. I shall report back!